Bend, Don't Break: Learning to Flow Again
A personal reflection on the transformation from rigid control to flexible flow, embracing vulnerability and finding strength in adaptability during life's challenges.
There was a time — not long ago — when I thought I had to hold everything together by sheer will. My thoughts were tightly wound, my morals sharpened like swords, my identity built like a fortress. I wasn’t living — I was defending. But from what?! I still don’t know to this day. From my past trauma? Deep sigh.
I confused being unbreakable with being unbending. But everything that refuses to bend eventually cracks.
El Día Que Me Rompí
I remember a morning not too far back, mid-divorce chaos, co-parenting tension, work pressures stacking, and my baby girl asking me something simple like, “Papi, can we play now?” And I said no — not because I couldn’t, but because I was too wrapped up in being “responsible.” And she looked at me like I had already drifted a million miles away. That’s when I heard it: snap. Not out loud. Inside. I realized I was following a script no one asked me to write. Protective logic. Identity anchoring. That exhausting need to always be right, good, disciplined.
That day, I sat outside with cafecito and stared at the sky. No podcast. No productivity. Just me. Breathing. I asked myself:
What if I’m not failing — just evolving? What if I let myself feel instead of fix?
Since then, I’ve been practicing the art of flow. No more black-and-white thinking. No more rigid “shoulds.” Just presence. Soft strength. Amor. I started letting love in. Not just romantic — real love:
- Letting my kids interrupt me with joy
- Laughing instead of snapping (my snapping = serious face with a deep sigh)
- Walking away from online fights I used to jump into
- Asking myself “¿Esto me da paz?” before engaging
I stopped asking “Is this right?” and started asking “Is this true for me?” Flexibility, I realized, isn’t weakness. It’s wisdom. Water doesn’t fight rocks — it shapes them over time.
Soft Heart, Strong Hands
I still have standards. I still lead. But I’ve burned the rulebook I wrote in survival mode. Now I will:
- Bend with the winds of change
- Sit in the messy middle
- Let things be complex
- Allow joy in small moments
Because I love love. I love life. And I love who I’m becoming when I choose flexibility over fear.
A Reminder (pa’ mí y pa’ ti)
Be rooted like bamboo, pero sway when needed. Be like tide — rise, fall, return. Be like love — messy, real, and free.
Bend. Don’t break.